Time for some humor

I just can't stop cracking up at these. And I've been landing on the front page of google for several of my posts so I avoided the obvious title.

*Chuck Norris doesn't hate Mondays; if he did, they wouldn't exist.

* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

* Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

* Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

* Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

* There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

* When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

* Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

* Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

* There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

* Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

* Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

* Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

* Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

* Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

* Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

* Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. He has never cried. Ever.